When we threw open the velvet curtains and tossed the dustcloths off the furniture last week and decided to reignite this project, Pinkie and I immediaely started digging through The Slush Pile, a/k/a the GIANT Shu Uemura shopping bag hidden behind my closet door full of over a year's worth of promo CDs (there's hundreds in there, at least!). We've actually received quite a few albums and miscellaneous promotional crap in the mail after a bit of a lull, so we thought we'd come clean and mention a few of the more interesting ones that have crossed our threshold recently (and not-so-recently). (Pinkie did most of the heavy lifting and listened to about 100 cds in 2 hours -- a superhuman feat of endurance if ever there was one. She would have you know that the free recipes included in the EMI international music series really weren't the bonus that EMI would like to believe they are.) We hope you'll hear something you like too.

We're not exactly sure how they got our home address, but when the frontman's named PH Lovecraft, is it really wise to ask too many questions? Ladies and gents, the soothing goth stylings of ... Funeral Crashers. No really -- they're really awesome! (Interesting side note: Mr. Lovecraft was a fellow video ho in the upcoming Bellmer Dolls video. He's such a cutie.) If you like what you hear, you can catch them Saturday (2/9) at Galapagos with uh, the soothing goth surf stylings of ... The Vandelles.

Funeral Crashers -- Curtains

Sometimes things find their way into your inbox from benevolent quarters; Dan of Hungry Eye records sent us two promos about an eon ago -- and we're sorry that we haven't had the chance to write about them until now...

Sixteens live on a cold, bleak, deserted island once inhabited by Adult., Danielle Dax, and Silverfish -- by which I mean, they live in uh, Oakland. If you like what you hear, you can catch them on 2/21 at The Knockout! in San Francisco.

Sixteens -- Crystalline Saturate

Because everyone should have a farewell kiss before martyrdom -- San Francisco's The Holy Kiss are gonna give you a big, wet, sloppy blues-y buss on your way to the pyre. Or something. Not surprisingly, they also play out soon (2/22) in San Fran, at Thee Parkside-Scatterbrain Jamboree AIDS Benefit Festival! (I am NOT making this up -- check their MySpace page for more details...)

The Holy Kiss -- Shot Love on a Back Line

And now for something ... not so dark and gloomy. Oh, come on ... you know we don't just love the dark and gloomy ... right? We accept young men in all kinds of suits. Including, naturally, Long Island City's own The Two Man Gentleman Band, those old-timey maestros of banjos & kazoos. How we've lived in this city so long and not known of their existence is beyond me -- so I say, thank you, Two Man Gentleman Band for sending some *ahem* Heavy Petting our way. Yes, that's right, their third album, Heavy Petting, will be released on 2/17. They're currently playing out and about in ... Florida (appropriate, I suppose) -- but will be back in NYC at the Rodeo Bar on 3/26. In the meantime, please partake of their genteel naughtiness. You'll thank us for it. Promise!

The Two Man Gentleman Band -- A Gentleman Knows How To Love (damn skippy!)

We may have missed the initial wave of hype for Brooklyn's purveyors of old-timey emo-type music The Forms, but rest assured, their Steve Albini-recorded, self-titled album has been on heavy rotation on laundry day for a few months now. And, if you ignored The Forms because of all that blog hype, may we suggest a listen now? If you're under 23, I'll let you know that this sounds a lot like what I was listenting to when I was 23; if you're on the wrong side of 30, like we are, The Forms will totally remind you of those music composition majors in the honors dorm who bought that 20 gallon bag of weed with their financial aid money. Oh, wait, you didn't know those guys. Or did you? Do tell! The Forms play the Gothamist Moveable Hype show on 2/15 with Pattern is Movement at Union Hall in Park Slope, Bklyn.

The Forms -- Transmission

And, well, while we're on the subject of old-timey emo, we'll close out this post with some Austin love. Zookeeper is the new project of Chris Simpson, late of Mineral and The Gloria Record (raise you hand if those names take you back to late nights at the Empanada Parlour!) -- and a rotating cast of guests, old friends and new. [Pinkie regretfully points out that she was probably somewhere on 4th Street during those years.] Up-and-coming Austin production gurus Erik Wofford and Alex Lyon (ex-The Arm, Zykos, and occasional guitar tech for Calla) pull duty behind the boards here, and when I tell you the whole album drips with all the deliciousness of a perfect pollen-free spring day in Austin. I know there's a few of y'all out there who might get a slight idea of what I mean. More than a few of the ex-emo crowd have dipped a toe into the 'Americana' pool to bounce back, with decidedly mixed results (White Whale, anyone?), but Simpson's got a winner here. If you read this in time, Austinites, catch Zookeeper tonight (2/8) at Emo's with Zykos, Alex Dupree & The Trapdoor Band, and Frank Smith.

Zookeeper -- Ballad of My Friends

Have a lovely weekend, and stay tuned next week for more tales from the slush pile, a Dale Watson report, and Our Valentine's Mix Tapes.